


Beware the Quiet Ones

by 3tequilafloor



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Belly Kink, Burping, Gen, Stomach Ache, Stuffing, Tsukishima Kei is a Dork, also the saltiest, boys flirting with boys, kenma gives more shits than you think he gives, kenma is done with everyone, kuroo is a menace, kuroo is your mom get used to it, losing a bet you didn't know existed, noya is a menace, ok that's probably enough tags, tanaka only hurts himself, tsukishima and kenma must be the quietest roommates ever, what personal space, yamaguchi is an apologetic menace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7410952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3tequilafloor/pseuds/3tequilafloor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei doesn't always remember to feed himself properly, so the cavalry engages him in a gentle force feeding. He'll kill them for it later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware the Quiet Ones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brites/gifts).



It’s so hot out that no one wants to go anywhere. Cooking is out of the question, even if they could afford it, which they can’t. Kuroo loses the nose game, so he’s the one who has to venture out into the sweltering, relentless afternoon. Yamaguchi gets dragged along because no one can be bothered to save him from his fate and he doesn’t object very emphatically.

Ten minutes later, there are cooling packs melting on Tanaka and Nishinoya’s head and neck, surreptitiously borrowed from the floor R.A.’s medical kit after what began as a friendly game of Rat Screw became an energetic slap-or-die high contact sport that only ends when a sweat-drenched Tanaka announces he doesn’t feel so good.

Kenma spends a few minutes on Google and quickly decides it is heat exhaustion, which they all seem to agree is a bad thing. They can’t drag him to the student clinic considering he isn’t even a student, so a few borrowed cooling packets just have to do. Kenma himself is settled in front of the fan, a tangle of sweaty hair and limp limbs sprawled across the bottom bunk. 

This is about when Kuroo returns with the food, and quickly quirks a brow at the limp forms of Kenma (not unusual) and Tanaka (very unusual.) He turns to Kei for an explanation, which is kind of annoying, really. Literally everyone in the room is his senior, why is it that he’s expected to be in charge when Kuroo is away? 

Luckily, no such verbal exchange takes place. Instead there’s a wet sounding splat as the mushy cooling pack slides off of Nishinoya’s neck and onto the floor. He does something that looks like half of a forward tuck and half of a leftward aerial to free himself from the desk chair he’d been spinning circles in the past few minutes. The movement is in the general direction of Kuroo and Yamaguchi, who are happy enough to let Nishinoya (who somehow landed easily on his feet directly in front of them) relieve them of some of the paper bags filled with food.

Kei accepts the bag that’s tossed his way, finding two cheeseburgers, chips and chicken all inside. He glaces at Kuroo, who is trying to pry Kenma off the bed to feed him before he falls asleep like usual, but all he gets in reply is a shrug. He rolls his eyes openly, because it’s not the first time Kuroo has given Kei far more food than he’ll eat. The guy should be someone’s grandmother, with how he’s always trying to convince Kei to fill out. 

Whatever was in Nishinoya’s bag is gone before Kei can even unwrap one of the sandwiches. He knows, because Nishinoya hops up on the desk with a bit of sauce on his nose, patting his stomach in a satisfied way and curiously looking at the magazine propped open on Kei’s calculus book. Kei slams it closed, but he can tell it’s too late by the shit eating grin he receives in response. Whatever, it’s not like it’s porn. Unless he’s the sort to get off on electric guitar parts, which he kind of looks like he might be. Kei really couldn’t care less. “Looking for some new nuts?”

Yamaguchi chokes from across the room, having given up on his unsuccessful attempts to revive Tanaka and resorting to using the guy’s back as a makeshift table instead. Kuroo snorts (traitor) and even Kenma manages a vaguely interested glance as he lazily reaches down to thump Yamaguchi on the back.

“Not really.” Kei grumbles, taking a huge bite of the sandwich so he won’t be able to answer any follow up questions until he’s spent a long time chewing it over first. 

Instead of taking the hint, Nishinoya glances up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “You know, I’ve got some you could use.” He offers, and Kei wonders if Yamaguchi will get any food into his stomach today or if it’s all destined to get caught in his trachea. He’s also almost positive that the jokes are intentional now. Kei can feel a faint flush creep up his neck. He narrows his eyes and crams another mouthful of sandwich in so he won’t have a reason to reply. 

The amusement (of Nishinoya) and irritation (of Kei) goes on this way for longer than Kei expects. While the libero usually has plenty of energy, he doesn’t often have such a long attention span. The fact that Kei isn’t rising to the bait should have shut him up long ago, but Kei empties the bag in the process of trying to get his desk back. Nishinoya’s wiry thighs look a little sweaty, and Kei wonders if they’ll need to peel him off. After that they can try to hoist Kei off the chair. His stomach is so full he doesn’t want to move on his own. He can’t believe he ate that whole bag.

Naturally, Kuroo notices. The guy gives him an intense glance that Kei can’t quite identify and tosses over the bag containing the food Tanaka clearly won’t be eating. Kei doesn’t move to catch it, but Nishinoya does. Which would be fine by Kei if he just eats it. He looks over the contents curiously and begins to unwrap a sandwich, which he places in front of Kei instead. The unimpressed look he gets in response doesn’t seem to concern him at all. “You look hungry.”

He absolutely isn’t hungry. His stomach feels tight and full and heavy. Honestly, he’s already eaten three times what he usually would. Even though Nishinoya is older, Kei can’t force another bite down. He doesn’t even trust himself to reply out loud without belching right in Nishinoya’s face. So, he settles for shaking his head and bringing his fist up to his mouth to stifle a burp with. Absolutely not. There’s no way.

When Kuroo leans past to flip the calculus book back open (ostensibly to compare homework answers) he’s so close that his hair tickles Kei’s neck. “About number eleven-” Kuroo begins, and Kei gives in. He hardly has time to consider what the potential repercussions might be before he’s got half of the sandwich in his mouth again. Anything to get Kuroo to take a few steps back. Whatever stupid game these two are playing, he’s not falling for it.

Tanaka’s bag contains three more sandwiches and chips, much to Kei’s dismay. By the time that Yamaguchi joins the game, reaching past Kei with a shaking hand to scroll through his music player without being invited, it’s obvious that something is up. Kei stubbornly ignores it, long past discomfort and well into genuine pain by the time he licks the last bit of salt off of his fingers. 

There’s an unusual silence in the room until Kei loses his battle with the belch he’s trying to swallow and burps loudly into the back of his hand. He eyes the floor, embarrassed and irritated at his stupid visitors, but glances up when he hears a slapping sound. That would be Nishinoya getting double handslaps behind his back from Yamaguchi and Kuroo as he finally dismounts the desk. His legs do stick, judging by the noise they make when he peels them off, but it hardly gets a halfhearted wince before he’s full on grinning in Kei’s face. So is Kuroo. Yamaguchi is still shivering, looking both guilty and pleased. 

Kei glares at them and wonders if he trusts himself to ask what their problem is, exactly, but he doesn’t get the chance to decide before he hiccups and the button on his jeans pops open. The zipper slides down with a metallic groan, releasing Kei’s currently overstuffed abdomen from its confines. He hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels, because it feels tomato red.

Synchronized congratulatory slaps to the back from Kuroo and Nishinoya do nothing to help, forcing a roaring, shaky burp from Kei. He claps a hand over his mouth and stares defiantly out the window, sure that his face gets even hotter. He wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but it does. “I can’t believe you actually did it!” Nishinoya crows, and ruffles his hair for good measure. 

“That’s 200 yen I’m not going to miss.” Kuroo agrees, and Kei can hear the grin in his voice. They’re going down as soon as Kei can move again. Humiliating him for fun and profit isn’t something he’s prepared to tolerate. 

The familiar tickle of Yamaguchi’s feathery hair brushing his ear as he leans forward to clear the trash away is what finally snaps Kei out of his furious staring contest with the window. “Sorry, Tsukki.” He murmurs, too softly for anyone else to hear. 

“What the he-uuUUURP?” He demands, but doesn’t take his hand away from his mouth. Kuroo and Nishinoya have surprisingly good poker faces, but Yamaguchi gives it away when his eyes flick guiltily over to Kenma, who is still sprawled in front of the fan, chin propped lazily on one hand and hair sticking to his face with sweat. He doesn’t even try to deny it. 

“You’ve been skipping breakfast every day, and you hardly even touch your dinner. I had to call in reinforcements.” He explains, with a weak shrug. He looks so miserable in the heat that Kei can’t even keep the menacing glare going. He still glares, but he can feel the intensity of it softening a little. He’s going to strangle Kenma for looking after him in such a stupid way, but it almost seems like good intent. All except for the money changing hands. 

Kei opens his mouth to ask about that, but another thunderous belch tries to escape. He swallows part of it down, but not before Kuroo and Nishinoya shoot him some mildly impressed glances. Yamaguchi answers anyway. “There was a bet whether you could do it or not.”

Kuroo gives a low whistle, inspecting Kei’s tightly packed stomach bulging against his shirt. “I’ll never doubt you again.” He confirms. 

Nishinoya gives Kei a friendly punch in the arm. It hurts a lot more than he’s expecting. “Thanks for the new rice cooker. I’d have definitely starved if you couldn’t pack it in like a champ.”

“I don’t!” Kei finally manages to get a word out, but he misjudges it and this time he really does burp in Nishinoya’s face. The smaller guy crinkles his nose a little, but he doesn’t really complain. Instead he pats Kei on the back. Yamaguchi joins in, rubbing soothing circles like a freaking housewife. 

“Might as well let it out, Champ.” Kuroo teases, sounding like he’s having far too much fun watching Kei suffer. “You’re probably in for a long night.”

Kei leans forward over his desk and drops his head onto his arms with a groan and another belch that’s too loud to muffle in the fabric of his shirt.”You’re on top tonight.” He snaps at Kenma, causing Yamaguchi to wheeze again. 

“Alright.” Kenma agrees with only a faint sigh of complaint, and the bed creaks as he climbs the ladder to make room for Kei, whenever he can actually move to claim the lower bunk. 

Even just thinking about moving stirs up another long, low belch and a miserable groan from Kei. Kuroo is right. It’s going to be a long night. He’ll just have to kill them all tomorrow.


End file.
